Singing In The Shower

Sometimes it's as simple as sharing a cake in the car, this pursuit of happiness. Other times it's singing in the cold shower after a sweaty, manic Monday or finding yourself lost in tangles of dreams as you pore over pages of a good book. Some prefer the intangible feeling of remembering the tune to a song they were struggling to recall. I wish it was all that AND finding the missing piece to the puzzle that is me.

NJ Like New Jersey

N
Nurjannah Iman Hani Komar
Buang sayok
Jannah
Mak Nenek
Anak Cik Mat
Nurjannah
Syaq
Qek
Yoda
Njill
Memerang
Njot
Njos
Nurjanni
Amani
Pendek
N*jis
Murai

Despite this list of appellations designated to me, I don't grasp why people say Angie instead of NJ. The nama timangan Mak Nenek circa 1990s doesn't irk me as much. Go figure. Ha ha.

Sediakan Payung Sebelum Hujan

What do you do when you finally get to meet someone you've always wanted to meet?

This person is the present day Batman, who so mysteriously appears and disappears from your life, and of those times, mostly during the night. You may want to personify him like the Chipsmore, "sekejap ada, sekejap takde". But when the other is there, you share stories--some intimate, some serious, others silly, and most, random.

And so, you've counted months and weeks to match this persona you think you know, and the voice and laugh you definitely recognize to a person you've never physically met. Again, what do you do when this reverie decides to come true?

Do you conjure up a list of 1001 topics to talk about? Do you talk like you know each other or do you just act cordial and slightly formal? Do you lean on old jokes you've cracked, or do you rely on new ones you've just learned? Do you ask the person if "he saves the best for the last, or eat everything all at once" like you've always wanted to ask?

I chose to fire him a raging spitball instead. Which, by the way, landed peacefully on his left forearm.

"So, how is MY summer so far"?

I raise the white flag. Nobody can be as geeky, and un-cool as me, raging spitball and all. And all summer long I'll keep that in mind.

The Hard Business of Hard of Hearing

There is a private joke shared among us in the DH50490 household: we are hard of hearing people because we talk loudly. It runs in the family, this tendency to speak a few decibels louder than the laypersons.

I don't mean to denounce the Ismail family name and set you off running in the opposite direction when you see our clan, but it is not news that we are one loud bunch. Perhaps it was the volume of the TV I grew up with. Maybe I can blame it on the constant babel I had to battle with to be heard.

My days in INTEC as a frequent KTM commuter taught me how to tone down as friends reported back on overhearing inappropriate or mushy conversations I've had on the trains. I am now like a chameleon, ready to adapt to the decibels of my surrounding as is required of me. My voice comes in gradations: Softer among new acquaintances, soft among friends, loud with close/old friends, and comfortably loud with my next-of-kins.

All the same, here I am, a 20 year old female who is still hard of hearing. Maybe it IS because I talk loudly. It makes sense, complete sense when you think of the ear/headphone scenario. People speak louder when they can't hear well. People speak louder when they can't hear themselves. The private joke just may just be a fully acceptable hypothesis.

But could it be. . .

Could it be the possibility that I have accumulated years worth of earwax? Could it be that my earwax has been pushed back, way back, only to be compressed into an odd shape and a rubber-like consistency? Could it be that I am molding; my earwax blackening and thickening, becoming awfully sickening to the eyes that see?

Well, I did spend an ungodly RM190 for a two-hour visit (plus waiting time) to the ENT specialist this afternoon and came home with a few "rubber erasers", a throbbing ear from all the probing and picking, free from hard-of-hearing, and a broad smile. So what did you think it was?

On a side note, this is a bona fide advice from the ENT to both me and you: never ever ever ever ever x33 try to clean your ears with a cotton bud. The evil invention pushes earwax further into the ear canal. You don't want to be a victim of an ENT's probing, trust me. It hurts more than a swine flu screening test up your nose (which I will not elaborate further). Throw away those cotton buds, this is your license to run free and be wild.

Be a slob. Just be a slob. It's the best gift you can give to your ears.