Cliffs of Dover

Cliffs of Dover by Eric Johnson is a personal favorite of mine on Guitar Hero. Of late, the song reminds me of a good friend and brother whom I won't say goodbye to, just see you later (to use Hanna's words). And I'm telling you, he is sorely missed, by the entire Chicago population, furreal. The Chi knows when the bro isn't around. The Chi thinks he should give Ezamil, Dezerk, Ainul, Kat and I that ludicrous "to the pound" we oh-so-miss. I speak for the rest when I say: One round of Adam-nity for the good ol' times. And one for the beautiful, new life you're leading with Shikin in London. I'm sure only good things will come your way. Good luck!

Second Opinion(s)?

I have an urgent, humble favor to ask of any of you precious people who happen to read this. I'm submitting four photos for a study abroad photo contest, and I'd appreciate it if you can help me choose two more. These are wholly amateur photos of no quality taken with a 7.2mp point-and-shoot camera, so forgive me for robbing you of one's most important commodity, time. 

Here are the two I'm definitely submitting.

 Nyanga township, Cape Town - an Apartheid legacy shaming the clear blue skies in South Africa

Townships, settlements of shacks and brick huts like this, dominate the Cape Town landscape of what is now known as Cape Flats. They are "reserved" for Black South Africa and is situated away from the scenic Table Mountain and the bustling Table Bay, and certainly out of the city center. Apartheid may have left the picture in 1992, but this painful legacy is still there to be captured by lenses and hurt the hearts that see.

 (near) Satara Camp, Kruger National Park - Impala, not the Chevy kind

You would want to name a car after this antelope once you see how graceful it is. Enough said. Oh, and just that we saw hundreds of them until we got to the point where we agreed to only stop the Game Drive Vehicle if we see a baboon playing with a leopard that is standing on a lion preying on an impala.

And here are the ones I've shortlisted.

Telkom Tower, Johannesburg - Very Vuvuzela of you, South Africa!  

South Africa shows us its 2010 World Cup spirit and pride in style. And with the skyline, no less.

From the Carlton Tower, Johannesburg city center - AIDS in the shadows

South Africa is living with AIDS no doubt, but it can leave AIDS sans the prejudice.

Venda children of Guyuni village, Hamakuya, Limpopo

I love these children to bits, and the cultural anthropological debate about being a "detached, but still immersed participant observer" can suck it, is all I'm saying.

Rembuluwani homestead, Guyuni village, Hamakuya, Limpopo

The simplest meals of cornmeal porridge called Pap and vegetable dishes, eaten communally, left me with the fullest stomach and happiest heart for three days and two nights.

The contest deadline is April 30, which leaves me with 2 days. Do let me know what you think by leaving me a comment.  Thank you :(|)

"Houston, We Have a Problem"

. . . An effing problem with procrastination, that is.

On a less self-denigrating note, here's one of those songs that you just gotta fall in love with once introduced to. On days that just isn't fall but not quite winter, short of hours before doomsday strikes, this is a always a good song for the lonely. Heck, it's a good song for the lonely. Period.

Bopping to BEP, Finally

You may have seen this video on YouTube or Facebook, but I'm putting it here just to remind myself how lucky I am to be given the chance to study abroad, namely in Chicago, The Windy City. You should know that when my brother alerted me about the video this summer when we were lazing about and stalking people on Facebook, I had tears in my eyes. Tears of what? Of joy, of pride, of exuberance, of giddiness, of sadness that I missed it all . . . I don't know.

Although I bitch about the academic integrity, The Life of The Mind and the load of crap my school prides itself on, I am here, aren't I? I'm learning from the best set of educators, working alongside the creme de la creme from the world and over, and I'm living in a great metropolitan that offers me a wider perspective on what is the world. There is something exclusively awesome about getting the chance to be in Chicago, and I can't quite express it in words.

All I have to do is suck it up, hold my head up high, and make the most of my time here, not just thinking about making  the most of my time here.

p/s: I realized my past two entries have been centered around sourness, and I don't even recognize my usually chirpy (albeit annoying) self. I must have sounded unlike the happy-go-lucky person you think you know. But there you go, I guess there is more to me than the smile plastered on my face. But we all have our ups and downs, and I hope you don't mind me dwelling on my such phases.

The morale uplift I get from expressing my thoughts (even if it's a tenth of what I feel, and two-thirds of what I really mean) helps, and your readership keeps me alive and wanting to write, eventhough I don't write as often. Thanks!

The Rise and Fall Fall Fall

It's eerily peculiar that we say we are 'into someone' when frankly human beings can only go 'into' cars, houses and coffins. The transcend into the 'falling' phase is another mistreatment of language, in the most literal sense. 'Falling' in love--a wistful catch-phrase that gets the better of most people who don't know any better.

But time and time again, you hear whispers of the truth, lying beneath stories and layers of histories of familiar faces, of hearts you care about, of lessons learned yourself. Your body tremors with laughter insulated with shame for you see it now--it is called 'falling' for accurate reasons.

It is, half the time, not by virtue of circumstance, space and time, but by failing to watch your step. That is how you 'fall', even 'falling' in love. Failing to find requited love upon 'falling', you end up at the darkest, deepest trench on earth--your aching heart.

Unmistakably, when the zenith of heavens are reached, and all goes well, you 'fall', too. You 'fall' into a rhythm so new yet so familiar, like it was set in stone, as are the moon, sun and stars veiling the universe.

I 'fell' in love with Colbie Caillat's Falling For You, and hard, too. But this is one of those "falling-s" that I can pick myself up from, though, thank you.

p/s: My 9.09pm of 09/09/09 was spent in no better way than I could imagine. I had my regular girl on her special day sans the regular guys, but it was worth every minute lying on the pavement waiting to capture a snapshot of the digital clock turning 9.09pm at the Maxis tower. Oops, yes, we missed Tarawikh. Apa pandang-pandang, haa? JK. Okay, roger and out.

Because I Don't Want To Forget

"There must be an answer for everything, if only you knew how to set forth the questions."-233

"Some lived careful lives and some lived careless lives, and everything that happened could be explained by the difference between them."-254

"A person who'd been moved around a great deal never acquired a fixed point of reference but wandered forever in a fog--adrift upon the planet, helpless, praying that just by luck he might stumble across his destiny."-115

Those feeling lost and are in the losing, pick up The Accidental Tourist by Anne Tyler. Nothing like curling into a good book once you feel like you're losing the groove. Drug yourself with some Alice Hoffman magic too, while you're at it. A sure cure for those going back to school blues. I feel thankful ma thrust-ed these books under my nose. Now, if only I can permeate through this writer's block; have but one article and an intern testimony to fuss about. Sigh.

Hakuna Matata

Hakuna matata. There is no problem. Especially if you really want something and you work for it. Sometimes in life, you just gotta do, pursue, harass, try, as hard as you can. God willing, all will come your way!

For example, you may just get a postcard if you harass hard enough for it, kan kan? (If you're reading this, you know who you are=p)

But now my latest obsession comes in the form of a Zimbabwean. Hah! Who would've guess? And if you didn't know, Cape Town is right next to Zimbabwe. So if you know what I'm talking about, you do the math. *Mischievous grin*

Jambo bwana. Nope, it's Swahili, not Shona. But I should pick up Shona, don't ya'll think so? (",)

Walimatul Urus

Encik/Cik/Tuan/Puan/Dato'/Datin/Tan Sri/Mak Sri/Tun/Tin,

This is weird. This coming Friday, I will have been married to a rich, pompous man with a frightening belly for many years now. Complementing him, I will be a pretentious, stuck up, middle-aged woman (perhaps approaching premature menopause) who is devastatingly silly in her speech and quirks. Laugh at me silly as I blow some poor man's ass off with a tiny (but loud) cap gun!

I Will Marry When I Want, by Ngugi Wa Thiong'o and Ngugi Wa Mirii. You are cordially invited.


(This isn't the official flyer)

A sneak peek of my favorite song in the play:

Do What You Wanna Do, Even If It's Fucked Up Haiku

Pimples di kulit kepala

Pimples di leher dan anggota

Pimples membabi buta, merata-rata.

Now rambut ada "body", maybe

tapi kelemumur datang lagi

diikuti debut split ends yang oh sangat terkeji.

Nak baca buku, mata tutup

Dua belas helai by Monday kena meletup

Econ exam hari Khamis buat saya nak masuk chicken coop.

Tak campur Kekasih Malam Ahad

atau falsafah Human Rights dengan masa terhad

dan latihan yang berhari-hari makin die-hard.

Lumrah hidup kadang-kala mati
Esok lusa awak pulak yang rasa nanti

Jemput beri salam dan semangat to me, sini mari!

The Complete Crappopolis

In the visual arts, my weaknesses are many. Unable to draw straight lines, and perfectly incapable of producing dimensions and realistic sketches, I never once considered a vocation in the arts. Of recent times, however, I feel an odd, compelling attraction towards graphic design and illustration.

It is like finding a niche beyond the silver screen of this cyberworld, this act of poring over graphic designs produced by so many talented individuals1. It isn't merely their art, per se, that I am mesmerized by; it is the way they combine elements of type, pictures, and minimal words that ultimately ensnares me. It is one thing to be able to draw, but it is another to complete an illustration (either a book cover, poster, cards) that beckons people to it.

At the expense of sounding like a braggart, I must say that I have an eye for all things aesthetically pleasing. I, for example, take delight in driving around Kuala Lumpur with my dear Pok Chu and passing judgments on buildings upon buildings--new and old, contemporary or conventional, modern or not. This acumen I carry with me as I take in different forms of interior decorations and bag awesome finds in the fashion department. (Note that although I do not pride myself as a fashionista of some sort, I do maintain a certain level of acceptable fashion sense, I hope).

The same applies to the neo-art I take interest in now. My eyes--like a hawk's--quickly find works that work; my heart leaps with awe over the splendor; but my non-existent skills simply can't emulate. Yes, I will never be quite the artist, neither with my bare hands nor the help of softwares. As such, The Complete Crappopolis2 is a testament to my sans talent.

But we can all dream, can't we? In the meantime, let me continue my sojourn into the world of graphic novels3 and my established habit of stalking illustration blogs.

1 See Perempuan Jomblo, Emilia's Illustrated Blog and Saharil Conteng.

2 My ugly (but fun) spin-off from Marjane Satrapi's The Complete Persepolis (Completed Winter 2008, for HUMA 141, Reading Cultures).

3 For those who, like me, wish to delve into graphic novels, I highly recommend Palestine by Joe Sacco, Alison Bechdel's Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic and Satrapi's other works.

Put The Hate Back On The Shelf

I am malay, a Malaysian and I have dark-brown hair and sawo matang skin.

I once spent many evenings playing shyly with Pearly, a Chinese friend who lives a few doors away from my grandmother's home.

I once shared a bubble bath with Nami, a Japanese-Indian friend.

I once shared my lunches with Shiori, a Japanese friend.

I once pretended that the playground at Fairfield was mine and all mine with Leanne, a Mat Salleh friend.

I once shared a laugh with Paul, when I got berated for going in the concrete wading pool with my diapers and him peeing on the floor. Paul is German.

I once learned how to cycle from my neighbor, Shazelyn, a Mamak (forgive the lack of a better term) friend.

I once shared a pillow and my dreams with Latha, an Indian friend.

I have been brought up in part by Bibik, my Indonesian second mother.

I was four, five, six, seven, twelve, sixteen.

Perhaps we should all rewind to that age when race, color, nationality, religion are meaningless; but friendships everything.

Perhaps we should all try to embrace diversity, respect differences and understand reality.

Perhaps we should forget about who triumphs and who founders, because in the end everybody loses.

Perhaps we should lift our veils and use EyeMo Moist for the eyes, and Clorox for the mouth while we're at it.

Perhaps we should bear in mind that we should identify with things, just because we are human.

Perhaps we should not stay in the shadows because we are not this color or that, this nationality or that, this religion or that.

Perhaps then can we put the hate back on the shelf.

p/s: Slander and preposterous.  We really have cause for worry if the human race can stoop as low as this. Enough said. 

Show Nima Some Love

Requited love: When it comes knocking on my door, I will carry the sunshine in my pocket. All through life, 28, 47, 60 and all. Or till the day I am six feet under.

Requited love: They should come in droves like my unsuspecting bundle of joy. A child's unconditional love, you see. Why can't we love like that?

It's high time you both blow your aunt some kisses, loves.

p/s: From way up there, you and I, you and I.



p/p/s: This song belongs in my "overplayed" playlist. Think it'll make into yours? Yes, I'm sleep-ingrid Michaelson for a week now=)

Buka Mata Luas-luas

As I write this entry, I feel very inspired, though distressed at the same time. Less than 24 hours ago, I complained that I feel very shallow for not knowing much about the Israel-Palestine conflict. But we've all got to start somewhere, right? I have seen before my eyes and for the first time, the sufferings of Palestinians at the Gaza strip, having attended a film screening about the Gaza Strip held by the MSA less than 2 hours ago.

I realized a long time ago that a sound education is all these side things you learn, not truly the raw Math, Econ, or science being preached in class. But this is the first time (well, the couple of times) I truly felt the magic of informational panel, screenings that goes beyond the scope of academics. Safe to say that I do not yet have the full picture per se, but at least now I won't go all glossy-eyed when I hear people talk about Zionists, Gaza strip (West Bank), Hamas, by-laws and all that.

Basically, the Zionists have been progressively pushing Palestinians out of their own rightful land since 1948 (when Israel was wrongfully established). They hide behind the facade of targeting Hamas militants (a political, yet also humanitarian group that serves its people by setting up schools, mosques; which is why they were elected) and get immense support from the American government in terms of machineries, fighter planes, weaponries. (Okay. . . so that far I knew before--to some extent--but it feels great being able to put everything together).

When they hold Gaza under siege under the claim that Hamas started bombing South of Israel first (which are makeshifts, homemade bombs, unlike the massive killers the former have), they are in fact doing what we can only call as ethnic cleansing because they kill innocent children (I saw disturbing images of children being massacred in the film), civilians, bulldoze their homes, cut down their trees and stop all forms of medicine, food and supplies in and out of the strip. As ridiculous it may sound to the rest of the world, it's amazing how the Zionists believes steadfastly that Palestine does not exist when in fact it is the other way around.

Not only are the Palestinian people suffering physically, Israel is also playing mental warfare. In the film, there was a footage on how during the second Intifada (uprise of the Palestinians), Israel dropped gas canisters containing god-knows-what-poison that rendered many into catatonic states and seizures. They trick kids by leaving glove-like looking items that contain bombs, and I personally saw the ugly remains of a boy whose life was taken by it. Worse, the media (especially US mainstream media) makes it seem that the Zionists are only doing what's best to defend their "country" from Hamas' attacks, and that Hamas is using its people as shields and they themselves are killing their own people. Absurd!

At various points in the film, the eyes could do nothing but shed tears while the heart feel pain. It was completely humbling to see how the children there learn to fight by throwing stones at the borders (where Israel has built their stone wall separating their "territory"), because that is the only way they know to defend their homeland, their family, their homes. I whine about my problems and my so called deprived childhood (which now doesn't seem like such a big deal at all) but Alhamdulillah I still turned out fine, didn't I? Tak pernah pun tak cukup makan, bapak kena masuk penjara, kena berhenti sekolah jual surat khabar and pergi baling batu dekat army yang musnahkan my home, kan? Sumpah, insaf seketika.

Furthermore, I'm blessed with the opportunity to live in a peaceful country and enjoy the things I take for granted like the freedom to walk around without fears and insecurity. I quote a boy in that film, "What is there to live for? In the end, I am nothing. I wish I could just die, because death must be better than this". At that point, I wish I could teleport into that film and shake that boy real hard and tell him not to give up because God will always makbulkan doa orang-orang yang teraniaya.

Then again, what can one youth do to help restore their faith to live and keep fighting or at least surviving? Many many organizations in the country are circulating petitions and conducting phone marathons to put pressure on the American government to end the siege in Gaza. I learned from true stories of the organizations here in Chicago that by calling government lines, the congressman's office and telling them that you care about the ongoing assault on Palestine and wants it to stop, they may give in after a few weeks to sit down and talk things out with the organization.

Note to self: You can sign petitions calling to end this absurdity. You can attend these kinds of informative events, learn more about it and inform more people about the cruelty that is going on, about the assault on Palestinian people. You can read more literature on this, keep yourself informed, feel their sufferings and empathize with them. You can donate some of that money you use to waste on Coach bags and Forever 21 clothes, Nj. Most importantly, you can consistently pray to Allah that justice will rise above all, and strength be with the Palestinians.

Owh, YOU can too!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Some useful websites (organization, unbiased reads):
1. http://ampalestine.org/ (Chicago-based organization that are organizing gigantic rallies all over the States)
2. imeu.net (they put up credible articles from various sources)
3. Islamic Relief (donation page)*

*taken from externalcapsule.blogspot.com. Thanks.

Ada Kelakarnya Di Sebalik Randomness

On top of the random changes I made (yes, I changed my sidebar titles again, as you can see), I was also playing around with the Blog Readability widget I randomly found on some random person's blog. Sorry, because I was randomly meandering through cyberspace, randomly hopping from one blog to another, I can't even cite which webpage I took it from. Sorry mister/miss random blogger, and thank you, you've made one random visitor's day!

Urm, all randomness aside now, I tried out the calculator and randomly copy-pasted different people's blogs. From my blogroll list, it seemed to give me very random results. Suffice to say that some of you won't be too pleased with the results I got, and I must say I disagreed with some of its calculations (ceh, semangat setiakawan ini boleh tahan). Jangan marah tau that I took the liberty of doing so, al-maklumlah I've got time and play on my hands now, peace ya'll *in ghetto style*=P But...when I plugged in Dr. M's, Anwar Ibrahim's and KJ's urls, I think the results would make many happy and in fact throw people into long fits of merry laughter like it did me.

Let pictures do the talking, shall we?

Case #1

Case #2

Lo and behold!

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Case #3

*Rolling on the floor laughing* My brother--who'd perpetually bitch about KJ and the tingkat empat boys at home--will find this most hilarious. To think that the poor fellow was educated at UWC Singapore, Oxford and then UCL, with an impressive concentration in PPE, mind you. Bazir duit mak bapak (or rakyat, in some sense since his dad was the Malaysian High Commissioner to the UK) kerana Dr. M and Anwar Ibrahim didn't travel far and wide to learn and nonetheless managed to produce a "genius-level" blog.

But then again, we're talking about a man who called himself monkey (in reference to his saying bloggers are monkeys). Hm, mungkin ada kebenaran di sebalik segala kerandoman blog widget ini. Whatever it is, if any of you people are insane and would like to meet this very the "hencem", bollywood hero-like mat cemerlang, you'd wanna know that he hangs out at Chef&Brew at Plaza Damansara. Euw. My brother now refuses to dine there because he saw the man sitting with a laptop, calmly sipping coffee while probably plotting his next strategy to loot the nation.

p/s: Click here if you randomly want to see if this works randomly or not.

Computer Nerds Make it Big in Life

Dazzled. Amazed. Stupefied. Kagum. Tergamam.

In the last 5 minutes or so (obviously wasting my time on this blog when in reality there's so much reading for me to do) I have been googling for free widgets I could add to my blog. Maklumlah the over-aspiring IT illiterate wants to snazz up her blog. So I got on this blog, Mashables: All That's New on the Web, where they've listed 50 Great Widgets For Your Blog.

If you're patient enough to scroll all the way down, you'll find the recommendations for AnswerTips and Answerboxes. I figured that since I've been using so many Manglish terms and English campur like lah-s, kiasu-s, senget and such, something must be done for non-Malaysian readers (if there's any, haha, which is highly unlikely). I mean, I get kinda annoyed when I read sites which have some Chinese characters or Spanish words because it feels like I'm missing out on the good stuff. And now that I'm writing likewise, I understand the satisfaction they get, because some things are better said in one's mother tongue.

That's only half the point. So I got the html codes and applied it, and boy, am I pleased! Just click on any, any word in my blog and you'll get a definition/explanation about it. They even have "kiasu" in their database! Impressive! Only they linked bebel to Augustus Bebel, some guy I don't care two hoots about. But, haih, the wonders these programmers/IT people can create! And to think all the big bucks they'll get out of writing those codes or running a website, and getting high traffic and being hunted down by companies who want to advertise with them. Jangan main-main. Those big guys with thick glasses, funny habits and idiosyncracies may seem like losers and wimps back in school, but in the real world, they rule! Football jocks may have picked on them and punched their noses and dumb blondes may have relentlessly rejected them, but in the end we see a marvellous display of karma. The stupid athletes get beer bellies, permanent knee injuries and drink beer all day long, and those biatches run after the nerdy-guys-turned-superheroes-with-big-bucks.

Interesting, this life.

But seriously, double-click on the words in my blog. Try the Malay words, might be funny what English word they try to link that word to if they don't have it in their database.

Just trying to be