Acute Impulsive Compulsive Shoppingitis (AICS)

Disclaimer: The author classifies this as a very girly post. If you're one gungho male who just can't deal with too much girliness, be my guest and click on that red button with a cross at the far end of your screen. Be warned that there are some painful pictures of the ugly author, captured with a kodi camera. If you are not ready for such an eyesore, leave once you spot the pictures coming. If you think this is boring, mampus lah, I'm trying to procrastinate here.

Ahoy, so read on at your own risk.

Today is a sad sad day, my friends. Damage is done. Damage so severe that it may warrant a change in lifestyle until next month, at least. Well, to justify myself, I was abducted earlier today. Sumpah tak tipu. Like X-Files alien-type abduction. Sumpah tak tipu lagi.

Okay, okay, there's no point in lying. I lied to you Pops, when I wrote on your FB wall that "I'm just going window shopping, don't fret, don't worry". I will always be that girl who goes out and must carry a plastic bag home. Hands down, I am an impulsive, compulsive, notorious spender. No, not spender like men's underwear, I'm talking about $$$.

You know that feeling when you eat peanuts or kuaci and you just can't stop? Or once you start munching on that keropok, you just want to go on and on and you feel so dejected that at the end of the day, that keropok will have to run out? These symptoms apply to my shoppingitis.

One step into a danger zone like clearance zones at Macy's, Nordstrom Rack, and the forever-having-sales Forever 21 is enough to set the whole disaster into motion. A single purchase from one shop leads to another and another and another. It's a vicious game, this shopping game.

I see "Markdowns" and I go ape. I pass the handbag/purse section, I must stop, eyes glazed, hands itching to just touch, feel, caress them bags. I see "Take additional XX% off" and mutter to myself, "OMG. Murah gila. Must buy must buy". I pick up a designer dress and force myself to buy it because I never know when it's going to get that dirt cheap again. I receive an unexpected, further markdown at the cashier and that propels me to go ahead and buy more stuff since I "saved" on that item. At the end of the day, I deserve it all: Tired arms, aching legs, and a depleting account.

But pooh, it was a beautiful day today; 10C outside, the sun smiling, beautiful people galavanting happily, weaving in and out of buildings, snapping photos, shopping till they drop. Who could blame me? To make peace with myself, I am laying down my justifications:

1. Shoes here are all babi. Yes, they are babi. No, not that babi, but babi as in physically babi. It's hard to find pretty shoes without pig-skin lining. Alas, when you see a perfect one right under your nose, why not? I must think ahead, think of how hard it is to find shoes I really like, and CAN wear. Besides, a girl can never have too many black flats. For the record, I don't have pointed flats yet.
2. The pencil case was just $9, 50% cheaper than its original price of $18. I was patient enough to wait before (I already saw it the last time I went to Macy's), and this is the fruit of my waiting, okay?
3. I am petite, and did you not notice that it's a big/normal person's world like how it's a right-handed person's world, or a man's world (okay, this one can debate later)? Finding clothes that truly compliments my figure is as climactic as reaching climax. Affirmative. Okay, well, I don't know. But it's close, I think.
4. I can use my existing belts with the 2 dresses I bought. They fit like a T.
5. But wait, so I also bought a belt, right? Well, that belt is super awesome lah. Lawa gila, nicer than the ones I have.
6. The blue, light jumper is great for spring, and who can resist a $13.99 jacket?
7. FCUK dresses for $19.90? Hello?
8. I didn't buy a handbag/purse this time. And one handbag/purse usually accrues to maybe 5 of the items I bought today. So, it's a good trade-off.
9. 2 months, that's how long I've not painted the town red. That also means 2 months of being cooped up in my room thanks to the miserable weather and dealing with shitload of work the College tortures its students with. I deserve this.
10. I've got 2 paychecks and my TMobile money to back me up on this. Besides, I forgot I have money in PayPal. That changes things, by a whole lot.
11. I am now relieved of the burden of doing laundry. I'm pretty sure that I can now go on for 2 months without doing my laundry. Cun or not?

Why I Shop For Marisa Ahmat

1. Because she's the only one who can understand the love-hate relationship I have with my mother.
2. Because she sees my family's mistakes and, like me, doesn't want that to happen to us.
3. Because I can complain about my complicated family without having to pause and think about how she must be judging me that instant.
4. Because she taught me almost everything I need to know about this crazy life.
5. Because she just understands, no kidding.
6. Because her ideologies have become mine.
7. Because when I was a kid, she'd buy me stuff, belanja me eat and take me around.
8. Because she's my best shopping companion.
9. Because what's in her closet is mine. Hoho, and that means an endless supply of beautiful Mini-Kurungs and fancy kebaya-s for events, cool handbags to show off in front of friends, and different accessories to don every time. Sadly my feet are a size bigger.
   
10. Because she's going to be my wedding planner. She just has to.
11. Because if I die before she does, I know she's one person who won't lie about missing and remembering me forever.
12. Because she boosts my self-esteem by telling me I'm the smartest kid in my family.
13. Because she gave me two cute kids to love and who love me back.
14. Because she'd always send me parcels (I love receiving something in the mail).
15. Because she never misses my birthday.
16. Because she writes me long emails and comments on my Facebook pictures without fail.
17. Because she gives me sound advice, that somehow, just somehow, sounds better coming from her.
18. Because of the one million times just hearing from her lifts me up.
19. Because we're family.
20. Because she's my kaklong, and I'm her adik, and she's got no choice but to stick with me for life.
21. Because of instances like this:

"Yuhuu!!

Sorry for the late late reply!! I've been swamped at work and by the time I get back home, tgk PC pun dah tak selera.. apatah lagi nak turn it ON and go online.. at work I only have time to quickly update my status before my psycho of a boss sneak up on me.. tiba tiba je ada kat belakang I.. hehe freak!!

anyways, here's my 2 cents on the whole Shahrul thingy.. albeit a lil bit late:

1) On Long Distance Relationship

Well what can I say, it sucks.. BIG TIME!! I mean, it's hard enough having a normal relationship, let alone a long distance one.. like I said before, it takes a lot to make a long distance relationship work.. Lots of patience, understanding, effort, strength and etc...

Most importantly, it takes both sides to make it work.. To be fair, he might be dealing with some stuffs with his studies and what not, but he must be pulling his weight into the relationship too.. I mean like, you can't be making all the phone calls, the emails, initiating the YMs semua kan.. at least he must make some effort too.. at least some emails bertanyakan khabar.. and the short phone calls just to hear your voice and etc..

I mean, I know first hand about what it's like to be with someone yg pendiam, so of course we shouldn't expect that person to be a chatterbox like us kan.. but in my case, what made it work was that somehow I knew he missed me as much as I missed him and that even if it was only once a week that we get to talk to each other, it was enough for me.. so you know, he might not have much to tell you about his mundane life as a med student, as compared to you.. dahle he's there at the bleakest place on earth, so maybe you might wanna let it go abt him not having much to talk about... heheh

So from here you might wanna evaluate your relationship and see if he's making as much effort into this as you are.. if it seems like he's not, then maybe it could be for a million different reasons, and at the end of the day, only you can decide whether its worth keeping or not...

2) On Drifting / Growing Apart

I guess the distance can be a factor.. Plus the fact that he's busy with his studies and etc.. And also, people change... I don't know what his problem is not replying to your calls/ emails/ yms like that, but it's not nice lah... i know I would be pissed off..

and if he's saying like you've changed and you're getting sexier pun, it's prolly cause he's changed a bit too.. maybe he's the one who decided he can't take all that sexiness? or maybe he's just feeling insecure cause you're growing up to be a swan and he's so far away from you that he can't protect you or claim you as his girl ... u knowlah, all that shit.. tak paham la me sometimes.. one of the things i like abt abg man (despite all his flaws that just gets to me) is the fact that he doesn't try to change me.. tak kisah la, pakai shorts ke, sleeveless ke, apa ke.. tatau la whether he's just indifferent aka tak cakna, or he's totally OK with it..

hmm, guess you would need to have a long talk with him on the matter.. try to reassure him that it's still you underneath all the cool clothes you're wearing... hehehe or maybe, just maybe, you started to grow more boobs and having curves, that's why he thinks you are getting sexier? hahahah

3) So What To Do?

i wish I had the answer to that.. unlike other people, I'm not gonna say: break up with him? (although i know Mama will prolly be soo happy about it and say "dah agak dah" you'd breakup with him).. but i think if things doesn't change after you guys have tried to iron things out, then maybe it's best if you just let it be..

i guess what i'm saying is, instead of breaking up with him (you don't want to look back 6 years from now and regret about breaking up with this dr yang berjaya, or maybe even think that he was the one that got away...).. i guess you could be selfish, and let it die a natural death.. meanwhile, you can explore your options with other guys or whatever la..

of course, you're too young to get married and tied down.. but you're not too young to have a steady relationship if it's good for you.. and besides, how old is too young to have a steady boyfriend? and how old is too old to be even still dating and unmarried? you know what i mean? some people just start early, and some people are late bloomers.. but it's better than not having started at all...

i mean, if by you having a steady relationship is obviously affecting your life in a bad way ( bad grades, etc etc) of course i would be against it myself.. but hey, if papa can be open abt his kids dating, so why can't everyone else do the same? hehehe

if anything, our mom and aunts not a good example to go by lah.. ingat tak haritu when you tanya i pasal resipi and etc? and when tam got on the phone dia mcm sort of implied that why bother learning how to cook? nanti dah jadi career woman and get paid high enough, u can get someone to do the cooking... boleh? even mama pun masa u tanya tanya wan resipi b4 u balik sana dulu, she said like takyah masak selalu sangat and etc..

scary la these folks.. which i think is one of their biggest misconception.. i think no matter how successful a woman is, she should be good in the kitchen too, so that she can provide for her kids and husband.. i mean, no matter you CEO ke, apa ke, you still have to hormat your hubby and what not kan? i think you know what i mean... and i hope you've seen enuff to know well enough that we should never become like them.. uhuhu...

so there.. i dunno if it helps, but i guess you'll just have to play it by ear... if it all points that there is nothing left for you in the relationship, then by all means, you shd end it... if you've found someone else who's better, then walk away... but if he's come to his senses and wants you back and if you are willing to give it another shot, then do.. it's really up to you and like you mentioned, don't let anybody influence u...

hahah if they say women are hard to understand, then men are just as bad... huhuhu...

okla, too long already... do take care sis!! love you and once again, thanks for the handbag yg i bakal dapat... heheh muahs!!"

For all of the above, she deserves any amount of Coach hobos, Corelle livingware, Marc Jacobs watches, Victoria's Secret body mists that she fancies, don't you reckon?