Acute Impulsive Compulsive Shoppingitis (AICS)

Disclaimer: The author classifies this as a very girly post. If you're one gungho male who just can't deal with too much girliness, be my guest and click on that red button with a cross at the far end of your screen. Be warned that there are some painful pictures of the ugly author, captured with a kodi camera. If you are not ready for such an eyesore, leave once you spot the pictures coming. If you think this is boring, mampus lah, I'm trying to procrastinate here.

Ahoy, so read on at your own risk.

Today is a sad sad day, my friends. Damage is done. Damage so severe that it may warrant a change in lifestyle until next month, at least. Well, to justify myself, I was abducted earlier today. Sumpah tak tipu. Like X-Files alien-type abduction. Sumpah tak tipu lagi.

Okay, okay, there's no point in lying. I lied to you Pops, when I wrote on your FB wall that "I'm just going window shopping, don't fret, don't worry". I will always be that girl who goes out and must carry a plastic bag home. Hands down, I am an impulsive, compulsive, notorious spender. No, not spender like men's underwear, I'm talking about $$$.

You know that feeling when you eat peanuts or kuaci and you just can't stop? Or once you start munching on that keropok, you just want to go on and on and you feel so dejected that at the end of the day, that keropok will have to run out? These symptoms apply to my shoppingitis.

One step into a danger zone like clearance zones at Macy's, Nordstrom Rack, and the forever-having-sales Forever 21 is enough to set the whole disaster into motion. A single purchase from one shop leads to another and another and another. It's a vicious game, this shopping game.

I see "Markdowns" and I go ape. I pass the handbag/purse section, I must stop, eyes glazed, hands itching to just touch, feel, caress them bags. I see "Take additional XX% off" and mutter to myself, "OMG. Murah gila. Must buy must buy". I pick up a designer dress and force myself to buy it because I never know when it's going to get that dirt cheap again. I receive an unexpected, further markdown at the cashier and that propels me to go ahead and buy more stuff since I "saved" on that item. At the end of the day, I deserve it all: Tired arms, aching legs, and a depleting account.

But pooh, it was a beautiful day today; 10C outside, the sun smiling, beautiful people galavanting happily, weaving in and out of buildings, snapping photos, shopping till they drop. Who could blame me? To make peace with myself, I am laying down my justifications:

1. Shoes here are all babi. Yes, they are babi. No, not that babi, but babi as in physically babi. It's hard to find pretty shoes without pig-skin lining. Alas, when you see a perfect one right under your nose, why not? I must think ahead, think of how hard it is to find shoes I really like, and CAN wear. Besides, a girl can never have too many black flats. For the record, I don't have pointed flats yet.
2. The pencil case was just $9, 50% cheaper than its original price of $18. I was patient enough to wait before (I already saw it the last time I went to Macy's), and this is the fruit of my waiting, okay?
3. I am petite, and did you not notice that it's a big/normal person's world like how it's a right-handed person's world, or a man's world (okay, this one can debate later)? Finding clothes that truly compliments my figure is as climactic as reaching climax. Affirmative. Okay, well, I don't know. But it's close, I think.
4. I can use my existing belts with the 2 dresses I bought. They fit like a T.
5. But wait, so I also bought a belt, right? Well, that belt is super awesome lah. Lawa gila, nicer than the ones I have.
6. The blue, light jumper is great for spring, and who can resist a $13.99 jacket?
7. FCUK dresses for $19.90? Hello?
8. I didn't buy a handbag/purse this time. And one handbag/purse usually accrues to maybe 5 of the items I bought today. So, it's a good trade-off.
9. 2 months, that's how long I've not painted the town red. That also means 2 months of being cooped up in my room thanks to the miserable weather and dealing with shitload of work the College tortures its students with. I deserve this.
10. I've got 2 paychecks and my TMobile money to back me up on this. Besides, I forgot I have money in PayPal. That changes things, by a whole lot.
11. I am now relieved of the burden of doing laundry. I'm pretty sure that I can now go on for 2 months without doing my laundry. Cun or not?